Graffiti Gallery #2: Yoshi’s Egg

Whether it brings life or death, neither result is pleasant.

Yoshi has been a staple of the Super Mario series since his introduction in Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo. A new sidekick/power-up for Mario, Yoshi could eat enemies in Mario’s way, and gain special abilities through holding different colored shells in his mouth. Yeah, I don’t know how that works either, but this is a world where flowers cause people to shoot flames from their hands and mushrooms make you grow twice your normal size, so whatever.

For all the good Yoshi did, however, I found the damn green lizard to be far more annoying than anything else. Taking the slightest hit caused Yoshi to toss Mario off like a sack of bricks and run away, usually off a cliff, squealing the entire way. If you were fast enough, you could remount the jittery jerk and calm its ass down, but you’d inevitably just lose it again due to its crippling lack of self-preservation skills.

Seriously, there are few gaming characters I can point to that have less survival instincts than Yoshis. A clear example of this is that one of their chief uses in Mario games is the ability to use them as a pseudo-double jump. By jumping with Yoshi, and then pressing up+jump in mid-air, you could launch off them to impressive heights. This was actually an essential technique to find some of the secret exits in the original Super Mario World. Of course, this usually left the Yoshis to plummet to their deaths as they fell into the immense chasms beneath you, but at that point, you’d hardly feel any guilt. The pastel freaks were probably going to end up there the next time you got hit anyway.

The really disturbing part about the Yoshi’s apathy towards their species existence was fully revealed in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island. In this game, you actually controlled the Yoshi’s as the main characters. Their special abilities were expanded, including the ability to produce eggs. You may wonder why the Yoshi’s reproductive abilities were a (disturbing) game-play mechanic. Well, it’s because your primary attack in the game was to take your freshly created eggs, containing the unbridled potential future of the Yoshi species, and toss those fuckers at every enemy that crossed your path.

Yoshi eggs are not any more durable than any other egg you’ve come across in your life. They bounce around a bit, but eventually crack and crumble like you’d expect an egg to do when tossed at full speed towards walls, mountains, and other beings’ faces.

This reckless disregard for Yoshi youth has become a disturbing staple for the character, with the Yoshi egg toss being a key move in his appearance in games such as the Smash Bros. series. By the way, if you want a way to guarantee that I will gun after you an entire match in Smash Brothers, pick Yoshi. I will consider it my life’s goal to eradicate you. You sick bastard.

"Holy shit, I survived all the way to hatching! Time to celebrate my entrance into this grand plane of existence by relentlessly snuffing out the lives of my own species! Watch out, bitches. You're about to get Yoshi'd!"

At any rate, someone decided to immortalize the struggle of the Yoshi race by sketching out a quick Yoshi Egg on the graffiti tunnel near Reid Hall at the University of Florida. Or maybe they just really wanted an omelet that day. Given the scarcity of finding intact Yoshi eggs, I hear they are a rare delicacy in Dinosaur Land.

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